


When I Get Home

by ShipSeekingShippers



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Live in boyfriends, M/M, Peter can save the world but he can't cook, Peter is afraid of spiders, Peter loves Wade, Prompt 119, Spiders like Peter, Spideypool-prompts, Wade is protective of his Baby Boy, Wade loves Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-13 21:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11768397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipSeekingShippers/pseuds/ShipSeekingShippers
Summary: Who would have thought the worlds best crime fighter Spider-Man had a fear of spiders?A story in which Deadpool comes home to find his boyfriend freaking out over a spider in their kitchen.





	When I Get Home

**Author's Note:**

> Of so I'm a true fan of the Spideypool-prompts page on tumblr! I have a whole list of one shots and fics to write for that site!!! This one is prompt #119! I didn't see a name of who submitted the idea but if it was you then let me know! You're awesome for suggesting this idea!!!
> 
> Also a big thank you to my beta Levi for checking over my work!!! You the best!!!

//~~~~~~Start~~~~~~~\\\

Peter whisked the gravy around in the pan, trying his damned hardest not to spill anything. His eyes glanced up to the cook book that he had webbed to the wall with scrunched up eyes. 

"Whisk until frothy? What the hell is frothy?" He looked down to the watery gravy in the silver pan before looking back to the book.

"Come on, Peter, you're going to school for Biophysics and you save the city on a nightly basis. You can do this!" He hissed to himself as he glanced to the oven that was cooking the chicken. 

Leaving the gravy he walked over and cracked the oven open to looking at the still cold chicken. Why the fuck won't it thaw? It's been in there for thirty minutes already!

Peter shut it and raised the heat just a tad bit as he went over to the table where different veggies were splayed out. Taking the knife in hand he began cutting more of the vegetables to add to the hot pan that was all buttered up next to the gravy. As he chopped his eyes glanced to the clock to see it was almost time.

"Damn." He wishes he had more time to get all of this ready. But while he was at the grocery store this morning there was a bank robbery in down town Queens so he spent all morning and most of the lunch getting that hostage situation taken care of. By the time he got the groceries, he had to get back to the apartment and rush into this. 

Wade would be home any minute now from his mission in South America. The mercenary had been gone for two whole weeks and Peter missed his boyfriend. Normally, he took short missions that only lasted a few days, but this one was apparently big money. Peter made sure it wasn't any assassinations or gun for hire kind of job. They worked real hard getting his image fixed in the eyes of their fellow super hero friends.

Naw, it was just smuggling some stolen artifacts across a couple borders gig. Which was originally stolen from the people of Swatu during a war, like a hundred years ago. Wade was just being paid to re-steal it and return it to its rightful owners. Deadpool had given up the bad guy's life in exchange for Peter's love, which was sweet in its own way and yet totally sounded like a bad romance novel in another kind of way.

They've been dating for about eight months before the merc suggested they move in together. Peter had been shocked, to say the least, but he agreed and it was the best decision of his life! Everything they did was so in synch with each other, it was crazy perfect! Not that they didn't have their fights every now and then, but perfect none the less.

Sometimes, other heroes asked how Peter could put up with Wade being--well, being Wade. What they didn't know was how sweet he could be. When Peter had homework the merc would put the TV on the lowest volume. He made sure Peter had a lunch between all his classes. Wade was a caring man that always made sure Peter had everything he needed before Peter even knew what he needed himself. Not to mention the man was so damn giving in the bedroom! Always making sure Peter needs came first and fuck if that didn't make for the perfect boyfriend! So yeah, the other heroes didn't know Wade like he did. But who cares what they think! 

Peter smiled into the veggies as he wondered what Wade would say to this hopefully 'edible' homecooked meal. Wade was the chef in the relationship, while Peter had a hard time not burning cereal! 

Smoke wafted under his nose just as his Spidey senses flew into action and he whipped his head around to see the gravy on fire.

"Fuck!" He rushed up and went to turn down the stove but the flames shot up higher.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Peter ducked under the cabinets and grabbed the fire extinguisher. He began to spray white foam across the stove top, killing the flames. 

Breathing heavily he looked down to the oven to see it clouded with smoke.

"Holy fuck the chicken!" He threw open the oven door as a black cloud of smoke billowed out, clouding the kitchen in heavy gray smoke.

Coughing he flicked the switches off on the stove and took a step back, yet slipping in the extinguisher foam. He landed on his back, cursing the fuck out of home cooking. Standing on shaky knees between the slippery floor Peter opened the window to the kitchen and used a newspaper on the counter to waft the smoke to the open breeze as he coughed into his shirt.

This all came crashing down as Peter groaned at the mess he would have to clean up. As he stood at the window fanning the smoke out he glanced up to the clear glass and his eyes went shockingly wide like a cartoon almost. His lips trembled as he took a step back. There on the window was a giant brown spider that had to be the size of a fucking coke can!

A scream broke through his lips as he jumped back into the smoke and slippery floors. He bumped into the table before falling face first into the spilled veggies he tries to cut up. A tomato smushed into his white t-shirt, leaving a bright red mushy stain across his stomach.

As he screamed the front door was kicked in by a red and black leather clad ninja man swinging two katanas around.

"What the fuck!" Wade screamed as he looked around for danger, posed and ready for a big fight.

"Wade!" Peter looked up at him from the floor and the mercenary's masked eyes went wide at the sight of possible blood on his boyfriend's shirt in the cloudy room. He dropped his swords and pulled out two large guns.

"Where the fuck are they? I'll kill em' all! Show your face!" Wade came charging into the kitchen and began firing at random walls. Peter covered his ears as the guns emptied their chambers all over the kitchen. Once he was out of bullets the mercenary looked to Peter who was curled up covering his ears.

"Baby boy! Speak to me!" Wade called and once Peter realized the bullets had stopped he opened his eyes to see the spider had crawled from the window down to the cupboards by his feet.

Letting out a shriek the teenage hero jumped onto the wall and with his sticky powers he crawled up to the ceiling and pointed to the cupboards.

"Are they in there?" Wade pulled out another gun from his holster on his belt and emptied another round into the closed cupboards. The spider fleeing the danger and going up the wall where Peter was.

"Wade! Wade Wade Get it!" Peter backed away from the spider as he dropped from the ceiling and hid behind his boyfriend who was looking at the spider now in shock.

"What--What the fuck! A spider?" He looked to the innocent brown bug lay snugly against the warm light bulb on the ceiling.

Peter nodded his head as the mercenary looked around the destroyed kitchen. The walls and cupboards were riddled with bullet holes, the floor scattered with white foam and vegetables and the stove was smoking like crazy.

"Peter! Are you scared of spiders?" Wade looked from the spider to his scared boyfriend.

"What do you mean? Spiders are fucking terrifying!" Peter glared at the monster on his ceiling.

Wade scoffed as he tried to wrap his mind around this, "Uhhh, but--but you're Spiderman!"

"Trust me, the irony isn't lost on me either!" Peter blushed bright pink as the mercenary broke out into a loud laugh that shook his whole frame.

"Oh my god! Oh my God, you're afraid of spiders! And--And you have spider powers!" Wade clutched his stomach as he leaned against the destroyed counter top.

Peter crossed his arms as turned away from Wade but still keeping his eye on the demon spider above him, "It's not anything to be ashamed of! Arachnophobia is a real fear that one out of every ten people possess."

"Yeah, but that one out of ten just so happens to be Spider-freaking-Man! Tell me this--this is a joke!" The laughing came harder.

Peter felt his face grow hot from the embarrassment, "Yeah, and my fear comes from a legit place! I was bitten by one!"

"And got powers from it!" Wade pointed to him.

"But I was still bitten! I got really sick before I got these powers! I thought I was gonna die! I had fever dreams and--and pains--and my neck felt like it was on fire!" Peter expressed the pain he went through and Wade calmed down a bit.

"Okay, okay, Baby boy, I understand. Why haven't you ever told me?"

Peter turned and pointed at him, "And have you react like this? No thank you!"

Wade sighed as he looked up at the spider chilling in the same spot. Wade reached for a glass cup that wasn't shattered from the cupboards as well as the cooking magazine Peter was using earlier. Standing on the table Peter stood back as Wade gently pushed the spider into the cup and help the magazine over it as a cap. Jumping down Peter moved to the opposite side of the room as Wade released the spider outside and shut the window. Enough smoke had left for them to close it.

Wade turned back to face a relieved Peter as he rolled up the bottom part of his mask and held his arms out, "I believe you forgot to give me my welcome back hug."

Peter wanted to be mad at him, he really did, but his feelings for missing Wade outweighed his anger and embarrassment at the moment. The teen hero ran into his outstretched arms and with a hop wrapped his legs around Wade's waist and the mercenary held onto his bottom for support as their lips connected in a passionate kiss. A minute later Peter pulled away and smiled against Wade's lips that kept nudging back to his own.

"I did miss you," Peter whispered.

Wade kept licking and nibbling at Peter's lower lip, "Why don't you show me how much you missed me?" Wade pushed his hardening dick up against Peter's own and the teen moaned.

"I was trying to before all hell broke loose." Peter motioned with his head to the food covering the floor and the burnt stove top.

"Aw, you tried to cook again, didn't you?" Wade cooed as Peter lowered his chin in a blush.

"I was trying to do something nice for my boyfriend. I thought you might be hungry when you got home." Peter sighed sadly that his surprise was lost in the smoke.

Wade could tell Peter was disappointed so he bumped his nose against Peter's own, "Oh, I'm hungry all right... You know two weeks without this perfect ass has left me starving for some of its sweet action."

"Uhhh." Peter was speechless as Wade flipped them so Peter's back was on the wall and he was grinding into the hero's pelvis. Peter always had a thing for Deadpools kevlar. Just the feel of it rubbing around Peter was enough for the teen to whimper and succumbed to anything Deadpool wanted to do.

"So how about you and I get into that bedroom and I fuck you until you--" A hard knock was heard on the door as both men turned their heads to the open door to see Mrs. Nelson, the sweet old woman that lived across the hall, scamper in with a 9MM pistol in her hands.

"Mrs. Nelson!" Peter called as her shaky old body looked to them.

"Thought I heard a ruckus over here." She looked to the destroyed kitchen as she adjusted her large reading glasses.

"It's alright, Mrs. Nelson, I took care of it." Wade set Peter down as the teen blushed at his neighbor seeing them like that.

"Damn right you took care of it! I was gonna pop a few of these bad boys into anyone who thinks they can step in my building and start trouble." She waved her gun around as Wade chuckled.

"You are one bad ass granny, Mrs. Nelson" He walked her to the door as she nodded.

"You boys have a good night, and Peter, I think you might have overcooked the chicken. It smells burnt dear."

"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Nelson." Peter put his face into his hands in mortification."

As she left Wade laughed and pointed to the closed door, "She is the best neighbor I think I've ever had."

"Hope our other neighbors didn't call the cops." Peter realized how loud they were and looked to the clock as he began timing the average police response time.

"Ah, they're honestly used to me by now firing off guns like this. It's fine. Mrs. Nelson's the only one with balls in the building to throw down with a neighbor."

So here they stood in their half destroyed apartment as Peter looked at all the damage with sadness, "What are we gonna do about the kitchen, Wade?"

Wade sighed, "I was hoping this money could go to your school funds but I guess we can use some to fix the kitchen."

"I'm sorry, Wade," Peter felt sad that all of Wade's hard earned money was going to fix his mistake.

"Hey hey--no frowns in front of Deadpool... Only smiles." Wade lifted his chin and rubbed circled on the teen's neck with his other hand.

"Damn, you're too good to me, Wade." Peter closed his eyes.

Wade leaned in and Peter could feel the ghost of his boyfriend's breath on his neck as the mercenary kissed up to his ear, "Because I love you, baby."

Peter smiled and grabbed onto Deadpool's leather katana straps ad he pulled himself closer to his boyfriend, "I love you too."

//~~~~~~~End~~~~~~\\\

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this little one shot! I just kind of threw it together on my day off a few days ago!


End file.
